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Humor Test

the Wit (57% dark, 38% spontaneous, 36% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN COMPLEX DARK You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat. I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion. You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais The 3-Variable Funny Test! - it rules - If you're interested, try my best friend's best test: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 61% on darkness You scored higher than 28% on spontaneity You scored higher than 46% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Mike Shula Watch

It sounds like he might be gone.

My Favorite Albums - Number 2

Led Zeppelin - Physical Graffiti (1975)


Physical Graffiti, a double album that appeared in the middle of Zeppelin's career, is arguably their best (supporters of Led Zeppelin II and the untitled fourth album are excused). Featuring some of their longest and most sonically dense tracks, Graffiti features several of the best Zep songs of all time ("Kashmir", "Custard Pie", "Trampled Underfoot", "In the Light"), but several underrated numbers like "In My Time of Dying", "Ten Years Gone" and "Night Flight". One of the best-selling musical acts of all time, Led Zeppelin did it without singles (they released only two) or much radio airplay at the time. If you had never heard any other music by them, listening to this album would show you why.

What a day!

I think almost every system we have went down today in some form. We had a motherboard die in a domain controller last night, and Doug and the technician replaced it, but the time for the server was set to PM not AM (it was after one in the morning). Turns out the domain controller was the time server for the network. When we changed it back to AM this morning, everything went haywire. Terminal servers stopped working, the e-mail cluster crashed, accounting systems inaccessible, web portals locked up, backup jobs failed - it was a mess. I got several of the more minor problems resolved, but Doug has been on the phone with tech support for over eight hours trying to resolve the e-mail problem. It's nasty stuff.

LJ just IM'ed me and asked me how the day has been. I told her that it's been terrible. She asked if I had gotten everything fixed, and I said yes, except for the e-mail, and she said, "why isn't that a good day?" I told her that in IT, a good day is when nothing unexpected happens. Sure it's challenging to solve problems, and rewarding to fix a system that lesser mortals would have given up for dead, but most IT folks (at least the ones I know) would rather have things peaceful and boring.

Well, looks like Doug's making progress. Talk to you later.

Christmas album reviews

Is it too early to start talking about Christmas? I realize that the Halloween "holiday" doesn't even take place until next week, but as we have not really spent any time focusing on or talking to the kids about Halloween, I keep thinking it has already passed. My Halloween plans typically revolve around not going to the office costume party and trying to figure out how not to be at home for the trick-or-treaters.

Anyway, every year I typically buy one or more new Christmas CDs. I call it a tradition, but the only one who really pays any attention to the tradition is me, so that's probably a stretch. The last month or so, I have gotten several e-mails from Third Day regarding their new Christmas album, Christmas Offerings. As I have stated before, Third Day is one of the few Christian groups that I listen to with any frequency, and since the other two albums in the "Offerings" series have been pretty good, I was looking forward to this one. I bought it online when it was released. I also saw a new James Taylor Christmas CD at Wal*Mart the other day and picked it up on a whim. This one is titled, very originally, James Taylor at Christmas.

I listened to the Third Day CD in the van for the first time last week, and I have to say I was disappointed. I generally expect Third Day to do some interesting things on several of the songs on any particular album, and to put together a real gem or two. The original Offerings album begins with "King of Glory," which is one of my all-time favorite songs. It rocks, it quotes directly from the Bible, and it builds from this low-key guitar and vocal piece to a powerful full-throated band and choir number that can bring tears to your eyes if you're not careful. Even Offerings II: All I Have to Give features a few rousing numbers like "Sing a Song," although overall it is inferior to the first. The source of my let-down on the Christmas album is that I expected at least a couple of tunes that Third Day really put their stamp on, maybe even a couple of rockers. The best song on the album is probably "Do You Hear What I Hear?" which is just a live version of a song that they did for one of those in-store promotional Christian CDs that we already had anyway. The sad thing about it is that every one of the tracks could have been done by just about anyone - nothing terrible, but just 'blah.' There are a few original songs scattered amongst the traditional ones, and while they are slightly more interesting musically, in my opinion they are all lyrically weak. Without Mac Powell's distinct voice, well, I'd probably never listen to it again.

So before I bought the JT album, I had this musical washout on my hands. I picked up the James Taylor disc mainly because his Greatest Hits CD is a perennial favorite of ours, and I know he still has the voice. This album, which turns out to be a re-packaging of a Hallmark exclusive album released in 2004, nevertheless turned out to be a surprise. The arrangements of the traditional songs are jazzy and interesting, and as I said before, JT still has the voice. I remember LJ coming into the room while I was listening to it and asking "Is that 'Jingle Bells'?" She wasn't sure, because it sounded different - i.e., not like every other version of "Jingle Bells" ever recorded. I mean, once you've heard Bing Crosby sing "White Christmas," is there ever a need to hear anyone else attempt it? Negatory, good buddy. Aside from "Baby, It's Cold Outside," which I got tired of years ago (no offense to JT or Natalie Cole) this is an album I can tell that I'm going to listen to again and again for years to come.

YEEEESSSSSS!

I have finally established my ownership of all things Oracle and have completed the never-ending Oracle project. I resolved the final outstanding issue with the poll, and everything is working at least as well as it did before I ran the upgrade. You don't have to know what this means to celebrate with me. Whoo-hoo!

Laundry time

I don't usually do a whole lot to keep the house clean (just ask LJ!). I have allergies to dust and mold and other things, and vacuuming or dusting just knocks me over. I hate washing dishes, partly because it's just nasty, but mostly because I am almost 6' 5", and I have to bend over the sink to do it and it makes my back hurt. So pretty much the only household task I don't mind doing is laundry. Since I was home today and didn't have anything I needed to do, I have been washing clothes all day, and I do mean all day. I think I have washed somewhere between 12-15 loads so far, and I still have at least three left.

Usually we don't have quite this much laundry, and LJ hasn't even been falling down on the job. We recently bought some winter clothes for HannahBanana and BenjiBoy. We also got last year's clothes down from the attic and closets and cleaned them for NoahKrakatoa and AbsCadabs. I just had a birthday, so there are some clothes from that. Plus, LJ got a bag of shirts from an aunt that she couldn't wear any more. Add it all up and you get a $90 water bill.

You know, while we were shopping for the kids, I looked around at dresses. For a seven-year-old and a three-year-old, there were dresses that were $60 and $70 and up. I guess that's a drop in the bucket for some people, but I'll bet there's not an article of clothing in my whole wardrobe that I spent $70 or more on. I just don't see the point of spending that much on an outfit that they are going to wear just one season. And we at least have the advantage of using everything twice!

The other thing that really aggravates me is the clothing for girls. Once you get past about two or three, the choices for girls are pretty slim. I don't mean that you can't find clothing, because there is obviously tons of it. But we have had a hard time finding clothing that is appropriate for a seven-year-old to wear that makes her look like a girl and not a hooker. We finally gave up on finding her a pair of jeans that fit modestly. I don't necessarily want her to look like she's Mennonite or anything, but you would think that there would be a few choices for people who don't want their daughters to dress like Eva Longoria. Is that too much to ask?

Well, back to work for me. Now I have to go fold 12-15 loads of laundry!

EC Concert

Tomorrow night LJ and I are going to hear Eric Clapton in concert in Birmingham. Two other folks from the IT department are going, so that should be pretty cool. I'm really looking forward to it. Mom and Dad are keeping the young'uns for us, and I'm taking the rest of the week off from work (icing on the cake). This will be the third time I've seen EC in concert. My brother and I went to see him in Birmingham in 1992, when concert tickets could still be had for under $30. LJ and I saw him for our anniversary in 2001 at the Pyramid in Memphis, which was a rocking show. Robert Cray is opening for him, and I'm excited about hearing him too. Should be fun!

I always enjoy talking with folks about concerts that they have attended in their lives, especially if they have seen a few. Here are some concert highlights and lowlights from my past:

• Best Performance - James Taylor, Coleman Coliseum, Tuscaloosa, AL
• Best Opening Act - Taj Mahal (opening for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers), Coleman Coliseum, Tuscaloosa, AL
• Best Venue - Alabama Theatre, Birmingham, AL (Bob Dylan)
• Most Sentimental Show - John Denver, BJCC Concert Hall, Birmingham, AL (just months before he died)
  
• Best Song in Concert - "River of Tears" - Eric Clapton, The Pyramid, Memphis, TN
• Worst Concert - Reba McEntire, BJCC Arena, Birmingham, AL
• Most Pot Smokers - Dave Matthews Band, Oak Mountain Amphitheatre, Pelham, AL
• Best Christian Concert - Third Day and Michael W. Smith, BJCC Arena, Birmingham, AL
• Biggest Letdown - Ray Charles, City Stages, Birmingham, AL (only played for 30 minutes)
• Biggest Surprise - Kool and the Gang, City Stages, Birmingham, AL
• Closest to Stage (Whole Concert) - Tie: Taj Mahal, City Stages, Birmingham, AL; B.B. King, CityFest, Tuscaloosa, AL
• Closest to Stage (End of Concert) - Bob Dylan, Alabama Theatre, Birmingham, AL
• Farthest from Stage - Bonnie Raitt, City Stages, Birmingham, AL
• Most Singalong-Friendly Show - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Coleman Coliseum, Tuscaloosa, AL
  
• Most Enjoyable Show - Chris Isaak, City Stages, Birmingham, AL

Hope you enjoyed sharing some of my concert memories. Now, share some of yours!

Thirty-Three

Today is my birthday. I turned 33 years old this morning at 7:55 CDT. Now one doesn't usually think of 33 as a milestone birthday, but I have thought about it as such ever since I realized as a child that Jesus was 30 when he began his ministry and (most likely) 33 when he was crucified (based on the number of Passovers mentioned in the gospels). I remember when my parents turned 33 thinking about the fact that they were the same age as Jesus when he had completed his ministry on earth, and now I am as well.

Now if you consider it, that's pretty profound. Jesus had spoken and accomplished everything that he was to do on this earth (until his return) in 33 years, more or less.

Then I look at my life. Have I accomplished everything (or anything) that God has planned for me? Well, that's a question that I'm not sure I can answer. Only God knows what he has ordained for my future. But as I reflect on my life, there are some things for which I am grateful - an intelligent, funny, beautiful wife; four fantastic children; a loving, supportive extended family; a good job, doing work I enjoy; a home in a nice, safe neighborhood; and most of all, a Savior who loves me in spite of who I am. Not bad for 33.

World leader quiz

Leslie took this world leader quiz last week and her result was that she was Abe Lincoln. So she was very enthusiastic about having me take the same quiz. I came out as Saddam Hussein. The money quote was "People who don't like you better like chemical weapons." I'll admit that gave me a good long laugh. Hey, who says that evil dictators can't laugh at themselves?

Well, that was something!

When I told you all that it might be a while before I updated again, I had no idea how long it would really be. My Oracle upgrade did not go as planned, and we never made it to Charlotte last week. I thought about sharing the whole ordeal with you, but suffice to say I worked over 52 hours on the upgrade last week, including a 36-hour stretch without sleep, not counting eight hours of travel time to and from the ATL. So I didn't have much time or clarity of thought to blog last week.

Of course, all that is old news and this week we're on to fresh challenges. My boss has asked me to come up with a vision statement for my group, and informed me today that we are going to do things differently next year. I think my response was about five seconds of silence, followed by, "Okay."

That reminds me of a story that we like to tell about Microsoft. Several years ago, we were audited by Microsoft and they asked us to document all of our software licensing. Long story short, we ended up spending lots of money on software, including purchasing their brand new Software Assurance on much of our server software. Three years later, we were visited by Microsoft reps again, this time selling us on the benefits of continuing our SA contracts. My boss and I had talked prior to their visit about how we had spent so much money on SA for all of our SQL Servers, and that since Microsoft had not delivered on their promised upgrade to SQL Server during those three years, we were going to confront the Microsoft guys about it and see what they had to say for themselves. The conversation went something like this:

Us - "You know, we bought Software Assurance for our SQL Servers because it was a better deal than relicensing every one of them, provided that there was a new version of SQL Server."
MS - "Okay."
Us - "So it's really a ripoff to have paid 60% on top of the software cost to get an upgrade that was never delivered."
MS - "Okay."
Us - "Now you're asking us to re-up for SA, and we can't see why it's a good investment, given the fact that we haven't seen any new versions of any of the software for which we purchased SA in the first place."
MS - "Okay."

Every time we made a statement about how we felt abused and misused by their licensing extortion, they acknowledged that we had spoken without admitting they had done anything wrong, or even attempting to make a case for SA. It was really mind blowing, and yet funny at the same time. So now every time someone says something to me for which I have no response, my response is "Okay." Don't tell me that Microsoft is good for nothing!

So anyway, my boss explained further that I shouldn't worry and it was going to be good for everyone. I have no idea what that means. And the cynic in me is already struggling with the whole vision statement assignment. But, I'm going to do my best to try to synopsize our goals in a short, visionary fashion.

The second week begins

So I'm on my second week now of business traveling. This time I am in Atlanta again for a day or two, then on to Charlotte, NC for a couple of days. In Atlanta, I'm finally performing my 28-step procedure for the Oracle upgrade from 8.1.7.4 to 10.2.0.2. After many false starts, I eventually performed it successfully three times on the test and development environments, so I am hopeful that this will go smoothly in production. Chris, Doug and I are all up here at the co-lo to work on the upgrade. Chris is observing me, since he will eventually take over the Oracle support duties as DBA. Doug is here to test the mail and application after the upgrade is complete, and he's going on with me to Charlotte to install a server up there.

Anyway, I may or may not have time to blog since we're doing a lot of driving, but I'll try to keep you posted on how things are going. Pray for a safe and successful trip!

This should scare you...

The UK Telegraph reported this week that China has been attacking U.S. surveillance satellites with lasers in attempts to disable them while they pass over China. If this had been the Soviets, we'd be at Defcon 2 by now.



SEE ARTICLE HERE:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/09/26/wchina226.xml

South Carolina loses a close one

Well, I just got through watching the Auburn-South Carolina football game, and the Barn won 24-17, with USC missing out on a tying touchdown on the last fourth down of the game. I had no thought that South Carolina would be able to stay with Auburn, but they made it interesting up until the very end. Their quarterback, Syvelle Newton, is a player. He single-handedly kept them in the game.

On top of going for it (successfully, no less) on several fourth downs, the biggest difference between Tommy Tuberville and Alabama head coach Mike Shula was there for everyone to see in the third quarter. The Barn is leading by 4 at the half, and drives down the field in 17 plays to finally kick a field goal and take a seven-point lead. So what does Wingnut do? He goes for the jugular. Onside kick, drive down the field, and score the touchdown. South Carolina did not touch the ball for the entire third quarter. Twenty-nine straight offensive plays.

Even so, USC didn't give up. Newton actually threw the tying touchdown pass, but his freshman wide receiver dropped it. South Carolina still gained one more first down, but couldn't pull it out. Unfortunately, since Alabama is likely to get blown out this Saturday by #5 Florida, this looks like a long weekend ahead.

Weird things to eat

Have you ever wondered how we as human beings ever got into eating the things we do? I find it fascinating to think about how people discovered that certain fish or animals or plants were good to eat (or not), and even more so, how people have come up with thousands of different ways to mix ingredients in pleasing combinations.

One of the great things about being in a big city this week is that there are literally hundreds of places close to the hotel to eat, and we have been to Italian, Thai, Caribbean, and Mexican, just to name a few. Tonight though, I tried something new - escargot au fromage. Yes, snails. Well, just one snail. It was interesting. Not exactly what I expected. It wasn't particularly tasty, in my opinion, but it wasn't slimy or particularly odd in texture. It was sort of like a mushroom, but the taste was just different. And yes, I think it is the weirdest thing I have ever eaten, although calamari is a close second. I followed it up shortly afterward with a filet mignon, just to be safe.

So what's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?

Monday Night Football

So, I'm sitting here in the hotel room in watching MNF on ESPN. Now, I don't often get to watch football any more, so this is the first pro game I've seen from the beginning in a while. Tonight is a "special" night because the New Orleans Saints are playing Atlanta in the first game at the Louisiana Superdome since Hurricane Katrina. Now, I know that's a big deal for New Orleans, and it's a big deal, I guess, for the NFL. But the hyperbole from everyone associated with this broadcast is just unbelievable. If I hear one more thing about how "what was once a scene of devastation is now a scene of celebration," I'm going to vomit. The pre-game show included U2 and Green Day, and the hype is almost the equivalent of a Super Bowl. I mean, did either of these teams even make the playoffs last year? It's just a football game people. Quit acting like it's more significant than that.

Now, as a football fan, I want to give props to Roman Harper, former Crimson Tider and rookie starting cornerback for the Saints. Halfway through the first quarter, he's already made two noteworthy plays, including breaking up what would have been a touchdown pass. Good job, Roman!

SQL Server 2005 training

I am in Atlanta this week, attending SQL Server 2005 administration training. This is the first training that I have been to since I've been at Randall-Reilly Publishing that relates to something I use every day. That's a good thing. So far the class (through Global Knowledge) has been pretty good, which is to say that the instructor is knowledgable and isn't just a slide reader.

Atlanta is close to four hours away from my home, so it's going to be a long week (without the wife and kids)! Then next week, I'm going to be in Atlanta and Charlotte for two different projects. And in between, Alabama is going to get shallacked by Florida down in Gainesville. :(

Christian Carnival CXL is up

LJ is hosting the Christian Carnival this week over at Lux Venit. Y'all go give her a shout out.

My Favorite Albums - Number 3

The Beatles (aka "The White Album") - The Beatles (1968)

As my favorite musical artists, it was easy to predict that the Beatles would make it on to my list of top ten albums, and they do. Twice. For the only artists to have sold over 1 billion records worldwide, this should come as no surprise. However, what is amazing is that hardly any of the Beatles' record 20 number one singles is even on an album. In the days that the Beatles recorded, singles and albums were purposefully kept separate. The catalog of Beatles songs is deep, well over 250 songs, and comprises 12 studio albums, an EP and nearly 30 singles, over a scant eight years from 1962-1970.

The arc of the Beatles' recording career follows three distinct phases. The musical styles are so vastly different in these three phases, that it is often amazing that you are listening to the same group. The first phase, from 1962's Please Please Me to 1964's Beatles For Sale is the poppy, lighthearted music, derivative in many ways from their diverse influences, such as Buddy Holly, Roy Orbison, Elvis Presley, Little Richard, Chuck Berry, and others. The second phase, beginning with 1965's Help and Rubber Soul, and continuing through 1966's Revolver, and 1967's Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Magical Mystery Tour, showed the influence of both drugs and Eastern philosophy, and revealed a growing musical depth as well as an amazing penchant for innovation.

By the time of The Beatles, the supergroup was moving into their third phase - the breakup. The band had devolved by this point to recording basically solo songs with the other Beatles as side men. Many of the compositions on this double album were written during the group's infamous "vacation" in India with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and the album is almost jarringly different than those of the previous year. Gone are the multiple session musicians and orchestral arrangements. Instead, the cuts run the gamut from hard rock ("Helter Skelter" and "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey") to acoustic guitar ballads ("Julia" and "Mother Nature's Son"). There is a lullaby ("Good Night"); a tongue-in-cheek homage to the Beach Boys ("Back in the USSR"); a pastiche of sound clips, backward loops and nonsense ("Revolution 9"); an unlisted "hidden" song (we'll call it "Can You Take me Back?"); a first-ever solo composition by Ringo ("Don't Pass Me By"), and an old-West saloon number ("Rocky Raccoon"). Eric Clapton even contributed an uncredited guitar solo on "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." In all, there are 30 songs (31 if you count the unlisted track), in almost every style imaginable. Even the album cover, with its lack of any photo or even color, was a statement in sharp contrast to the bright, busy cover of Sgt. Pepper.

In a nutshell, the sheer diversity of the album is a large part of the reason I like it so much. You can listen through the over 90 minutes of running time and not run into two songs that sound alike. It is fascinating to me that John, Paul, George and Ringo had the ability to produce so much good music over so short a span of time, and the White Album showcases their broad range of musical gifts. It is definitely worth your time.