I am 32 years old. I have been a member of seven churches in my life - one briefly as a young child and new Christian, one for the next 11 years until I went to college, two during college, another after LJ and I married and moved, the sixth when we attempted to help plant a church, and the seventh and final one after the church plant failed. Our family left that church a little more than a year ago after some serious consideration and prayer when our problems with the pastor's leadership style finally came to a head (the pastor has since left that church). We have been without a church home for a year and have visited 20 churches in that time, four of them at least twice. We live in Alabama in a county of 160,000 people. In this county, there are over 100 Southern Baptist churches alone! So why is it so hard to find the right place?
I guess part of the problem is that we have high expectations. LJ and I expect the people to be friendly, the worship to be vibrant and glorifying to God, and the prayer to be fervent. We homeschool our children, so we'd like to find other homeschooling parents. We believe in evangelism, so we want to see Christians who are enthusiastic about reaching others. And we long for Christian fellowship, so we'd like to make friends that share at least some of our interests. We originally thought we'd like to find a place that had not had a major split at some point due to infighting, but had to rule that out because we couldn't find any. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, we want to locate a pastor that preaches the Bible, not a verse or two and a couple of good stories. We've had all the purpose-driven, seeker-sensitive nonsense we could stomach.
It's amazing to me how so many churches that we've visited have been cookie-cutter images of each other. Oh sure, the buildings are different and the styles of dress may vary some, but when you look beyond the surface you find the same repetitive "praise music," the same cold, disinterested parishoners, the same three points and a poem feel-good sermons, and the same feeling of a wasted hour (or two) when you walk away.
What is the purpose of a church? The second chapter of Acts says that the early church was "continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer." Acts 11:26-30 indicates that the church is designed for teaching and for providing relief to other Christians in need. In Romans, Paul reminds the church to be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Does this sound like your church?
To my shame, I have gone to church for years with people I have barely known, some of whom I couldn't name if my life depended on it. LJ and I tried to conduct a Precept Bible study in our last church. The pastor would only allow it to happen on Sunday nights during the worship services. By the time the study concluded, only two or three other members were even attending the meetings, and none of them had gotten anywhere near completing the study. We visited one church for four or five months at a stretch during our search (by far the most time we've given a church - we had family there). Not once did a member of that church visit us (there was one "formal" church visit), or invite our family to visit them. Not once were we ever asked to go to lunch at someone's home or even to meet at a restaurant. Not once were we ever called to see how we were doing or just to talk. Not once was LJ or I ever invited to do anything with anyone outside the church building. At another church we visited, my Bible was stolen right off the pew next to me. Is this what the writer of Hebrews warned us not to give up doing?
I have a great fear that God looks down on our tired Sunday rituals and desires to spit our lukewarm Christianity out of his mouth. How I pray that God would direct us to a church where his gospel is preached, his love is proclaimed, and his Spirit is at work. I have begun to despair that there is such a place where we live.
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